Everyone keeps asking me how I felt when I didn't begin treatment last Thursday and my answer is the same as my response to the news today, I feel let down. I know this is all happening in its own time and for good reason but I'm ready to start already!
I have done some reading these past few days on cancer awareness message boards and caregiver journals and I am trying to get in touch with how everyone around me is feeling. I know the anxious knot in my stomach is matched by many and that we are all trying our best to remain positive. I think from what I read, the most useful bit of knowledge I gained that I would like to pass on is that positivity is key but is not always easy or what is necessary in the moment.
I owe a lot of my personal happiness and optimism, right now, to my parents and to close friends. I know I am inconsistent in my day to day emotions, but constant understanding and patience has truly been a blessing and a welcome relief for me.
I feel as the days go by with no clear answers tension is building around me. I am not concerned with the lack of results because I am very aware of the precautions that need to be taken. I am more or less bored with the waiting process. I have never been one for surprises, the idea of them makes me overly anxious... flash back to my eighteenth birthday party... ha ha ha!
Thank you for checking in with my blog and I hope to have better news for you soon. I hope you have a great week and thank you for all of the positive energy and prayers...
Thankfully Yours,
Ashlee
3 comments:
Hey Sweetie, good morning and I'm praying for a great day for you today. I LOVE the book "A Wrinkle in Time". Read it many times as a kid. One of my all time favorites. Another favorite from those days is "My Side of the Mountain". But then I was always the one to wanted to go trek out in the wilderness by myself. No such luck.
We sure enjoyed meeting you Sunday night at dinner. You are a beautiful girl and really fun to talk to. Glad you guys liked the movie.
Waiting is all a part of life. It's what we do with the time between now and what we're waiting for that shows what kind of person we are. The answers will come soon enough, just live each day.
Live victoriously.
Hey COUS! It was great texting yesterday :) So yeah the gym didn't go very well & everyone was staring at me with the big old boot on my leg & trying to work-out- it was definately a sight to see! We're keeping our fingers crossed for you tomorrow & as always sending my positive energy and angels your way :) But not all of it- because I need just a little- he he he! *LOVE YOU*
I signed the seventyk petition and sent it to everyone in my contacts list! Stay strong and I'm going to keep blog-stalking you, Ash!
P.s. You grammar and spelling is pretty good, I suppose LOL
Pi Love and Mine,
Katie W
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